Her feelings.. on paper

Her Life; Part III.

I'm lost, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm useless, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm worthless. I'm not good enough.. her everyday thoughts, when she wakes up and before she sleeps.. Why can't I get anything right in this life? Why can't I be like any other girl? This isn't jealously.. this is insecurity.. I hate my life! She continues to think that way until... "I'm going to bed," she says "Good night mom, good night dad, love you." and the most unexpected thing happens.. her grandma appears in her dream... "Nana!" she shouts "I miss you so much!" her grandmother doesn't give the usual reply but instead she says.. "I'm here to get you out of your silly thoughts, who in the world got you thinking that you're ugly? not good enough? who are they so I pop up in their dream and make them suffer" this made her laugh.. in her dream ofcourse "that's only me nana" she says.. "then I'm going to make you suffer, are you insane? you should feel better about yourself! you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, the most intelligent, and the most brilliant, I love you so much" she longs for her grandma's hug, not in her dreams but in real life, for her grandma died when she was only 5, "I miss your hug, nana" she says "I miss your hug too, pumpkin.. but there's nothing we can do about it, just pray to God that we get together again in Heaven soon" she wakes up, with a tear on her cheek, but the dream actually made her feel better!
She got dressed for school, packed her bag, ate her breakfast, and took off, cheerfully and joyfully.. her happiness appeared vivdly, her smile is wider, her face is brighter, and for the first time ever people can actually see her dimples!
Another chemistry class and off to the lab they go.. when she passes by her ex-boyfriend this time things are different.. the laugh isn't fake anymore, no more tears, no more worlds crashing down.. she didn't forget about him, she still loves him, the only difference is.. she now loves herself more than she loves him.. and today he noticed.